Seriously….

Hi Reader

I'm currently typing this out in the ENT department at New Cross Hospital.

This is definitely not what I planned for my morning. I imagine it's going to be something I talk about for a while.

Last night as I was falling asleep, an insect fell in my ear.

Seriously. I could not make it up.

I could feel it moving. The buzzing was intense. It was like something from a horror film.

After trying olive oil ear drops (ok - it stopped moving), flushing it out with water (later to be told this is not advised) and a call to 111, my dad and I went to the Urgent Treatment Centre (UTC).

When I got to UTC reception, they asked what was wrong.

“A fly fell in my ear,” I said, giggling slightly at the ridiculousness of it all.

“OK. Foreign object in the ear. Take a seat and wait to be called.”

From ‘fly in my ear’ to ‘foreign object in the ear’ in one second - my story and experience had been stripped right back to a category.

Understandably so. It makes triage, processing my needs and treatment, admin easier for the hospital.

But the fly in the ear? That had the nurse call their colleague in to take a look. And this morning more nurses expressed their surprise.

Friends were messaging me saying “oh my god” and “it’s my worst nightmare.”

Businesses do this all the time:

We often hear people talk about the category “I'm an accountant”, “I'm a financial planner”, “I'm a web developer” and that's a helpful starting point.

And when you ask what they do, the responses can be surface level, verging on bland.

“I help people feel more confident about their finances”

“I help business owners get their tax returns in on time”

This is fine but it's a bit like the ‘foreign object in the ear’. It doesn't tell the whole story. It doesn't sound like a real story.

If businesses provide the solutions to problems, what is the problem you're solving?

How does it appear in your customers’ or clients’ lives?

At the first 60 Second Pitch and Intros Workshop, the fantastic Jeni Sellick from West Midlands House was talking about the various office spaces available there. I asked her what people said when they came to her.

She explained it's when they needed more space, their businesses were growing etc. That’s useful.

But then she said “One guy said his wife was going to divorce him if he didn't get his paperwork off the dining room table.”

This is the gold.

You can picture it.

There’s something at stake.

You remember it.

And this can be turned into a mini pitch:

“If your partner is threatening divorce because your dining room table is covered with work, we have small office spaces at reasonable prices. Ask me for more details.”

If you don't know how to talk about your business, or you want people to remember you more, that's where I can help.

I'm available for 1-2-1 messaging projects and public speaking coaching from September.

If you want to make new connections and get some ideas, in a relaxed and beautiful setting the next Netwalk and Talk is Thursday 24 September, 9.30am - 11am at Weston Park

And the next 60 Second Pitch and Intros Workshop is on Tuesday 20 October, 9.30am - midday at Codsall Community HUB.

Reader, has anything this bizarre ever happened to you?

I think if something this weird and unusual can happen, something weird, unusual and good can happen too. I’m buying a lottery ticket tonight!

Best,

Charlotte

P.S. Hospital update: It wasn't a fly after all. It was a moth. The amazing ENT team managed to remove it quickly and I was soon treating myself to a Starbucks Americano and slice of chocolate loaf. Thank goodness, once again, for the NHS.

How the cover was created

This cover was created on the fly 😎😂

This was never intended to be a CharLatte issue. (Come to my Party will, one day, see the light of day)

But when I woke up this morning, my brain started playing with fly puns and "Attack of the Sci-Fly" was too irresistible not to use.

So, before my hospital appointment, I started playing with ChatGPT. I pictured one of those dramatic 1950s sci-fi film posters like The Blob or King Kong.

The first version wasn't quite right. There was too much text, the city looked too much like London, and Charl Ex M looked about 21.

So I kept iterating.

I asked for the fly to become more mechanical, the city to be more retro-futuristic, and for 25% of the crowd to be android-human hybrids, with another 10% fully android.

I also replaced a billboard with "A Refreshing Cup of Oil", which I imagine would be a perfectly normal beverage in Charl Ex M's world.

This might be one of my favourite covers yet.

Not because of how it looks, but because it helped me turn a pretty unpleasant experience into something creative.

Sometimes inspiration really does come from the strangest places.